


Kanji

by sashocirrione



Category: Death Note
Genre: Alternate Ending, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Coming Out, Family Drama, First Meetings, Fluff, Gift Fic, Hopeful Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Illnesses, Kissing, M/M, Meet the Family, Sickfic, Social Anxiety Disorder, What-If
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-02
Updated: 2011-01-23
Packaged: 2017-10-14 23:57:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/154858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sashocirrione/pseuds/sashocirrione
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Light is bringing L home to meet his sister and mother, as L is now his boyfriend. But Light can't shake off the feeling that he was somehow tricked into the situation. Fluffy and probably somewhat OOC, not my usual style. Written for Persefone88, one of the winners of my 100th review contest, (started back when I was still running that contest).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Persefone88](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Persefone88).



**Title:** "Kanji"

 **Author:** Sashocirrione

 **Spoilers:** MAJOR Spoilers for everything up to chapter 54 of the manga and episode 24 of the anime.

 **Warnings:** Rated T. References to violence and sexual situations.

 **Summary:** Light is bringing L home to meet his sister and mother, as L is now his boyfriend. But Light can't shake off the feeling that he was somehow tricked into the situation. Fluffy and probably somewhat OOC, not my usual style. Written for Persefone88, one of the winners of my 100th review contest, (started back when I was still running that contest).

 **Pairing:** LxLight

 **Additional Notes:** All canon events previous to anime episode 24 (manga chapters 53-54) have occurred as normal, with the exception of one little thing that will become clear in the story.

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own Death Note, and I do not make any money from these writings.

* * *

 **CHAPTER 1**

Light thought at first that he understood things. It seemed simple enough on the surface. Higuchi was Kira. Higuchi had been captured, and then he'd been killed by his own shinigami two days later, for whatever reason a shinigami would kill a person. Perhaps Rem was bored because she was stuck with Higuchi in that cell, far away from headquarters. Everyone had breathed a sigh of relief when Rem's travel limitations became clear. Rem was stuck to haunting whatever location Higuchi was kept in.

Thanks to the face-obscuring helmets and to the darkened windows of L's helicopter, she'd never seen a face of anyone on the task force. Instead, she had been ushered away to a remote holding cell right after Higuchi had given up, bound to him by some kind of invisible tether.

The act of killing Higuchi had for some reason turned the shinigami into sand, dropping another killer notebook at the same time. L wasn't sure if this was something that normally happened to shinigami and the process would reverse itself, or whether Rem was truly dead.

Coming up with ideas for why Rem might kill Higuchi wasn't hard. Explaining the shinigami turning into sand was difficult, especially if Rem knew it would happen. Didn't everything have a self-preservation instinct? Well, Rem was a non-human and they'd had little time to study her, so perhaps you couldn't apply human motivations to a shinigami. There was no way to know.

There were further problems, though, things that just didn't make sense no matter how much Light thought about them. In the days after, Light's mind kept returning to that moment in the helicopter. He couldn't shake off the feeling that something truly odd had happened. He remembered screaming. L had made a remark about how anyone would scream at seeing a shinigami for the first time, but Light remembered that he hadn't been looking at Rem during that moment. He'd been looking in her general direction, but not directly at her. Instead, his eyes had been on his father.

Light had been desperately hoping that his father was okay. After all, at that point the gunshot wound still hadn't been seen to, and the idea of his dad being so close to Higuchi was unnerving, especially after that screaming fit and the announcement that a monster was there.

Yes, Light's gaze had been on his father when he screamed, not on that shinigami, and the nonsensical nature of it kept drawing his mind, trying to figure out the puzzle. There had to be something there, he just knew it.

Light remembered opening his laptop and checking the names from the notebook against the database of Kira-related deaths the task force had developed. He remembered a bit of small talk with L. And, he remembered anxiety, his heart beating very fast. Light had the nagging feeling that touching the notebook had made him scream, and he wanted to test it by touching it again.

But it was not possible to test it. Before the helicopter took off again, L had made Light hand the notebook over to Watari, who placed it inside a locked briefcase, and Light had never seen it again.

After that, L had made sure the notebook was secretly sent far away. He said it was in a locked vault somewhere, hidden where nobody would ever find it even if everyone on the investigation team died. From the way L talked about it, Light had the feeling it was at the bottom of the ocean or buried beneath the permafrost somewhere in an unmarked stretch of miles of tundra. L was absolutely determined that nobody should know where it was or ever touch it again.

Light expected L to test the 13-day rule. He expected L to do a lot of things that L simply never did. It was all a mystery.

But, one week after Higuchi's death, Light had solved a small mystery himself, by using computers outside headquarters to look up information about Higuchi and the other members of the Yotsuba group. Every single one of their names had been spelled with the wrong kanji in all the data accessible from headquarters.

When Light confronted L about it, L had explained that it had been a simple precaution. Letting a Kira suspect know the names of other Kira suspects was a bad idea.

A simple search-and-replace function manually installed on all incoming and outgoing computer lines had done the trick. Every bit of data was altered to misspell those names on the way in, and since it was a device that sat on those lines and had no connection to the rest of the computer system, it was impossible to detect it by hacking. By going out of headquarters and investigating elsewhere, Light had done the only thing that could possibly reveal the discrepancy.

Light admitted to himself that Kira suspects should be treated that way. It was a reasonable precaution. It was unexpected, but it was exactly like something L would do.

Kira had stopped killing entirely with Higuchi's death, and never resumed. The investigation kept stretching on, the task force members spending their time going over old data to try to find clues that had been missed before, along with waiting to see if Kira would strike again.

Misa wasn't allowed in headquarters any longer, but she frequently called Light and tried to get him to go on dates. She was annoying and clingy and Light finally dumped her. She didn't react to it well, but there was nothing she could do.

There had been a distinct change in L's attitude at a certain point, several months after Higuchi's death. He didn't act as blatantly suspicious. He still concealed his name and was careful about everything. Light had the feeling that L hadn't changed his mind about his usual Kira percentages, just his attitude.

And, L's attitude had turned distinctly strange. He was friendlier in a very odd way. It was so odd that it took Light a few days to realize it was actually extremely awkward attempts at flirting.

At first Light didn't know what to think, or how to react, but the more he considered it, the more intrigued he was. L wasn't like anyone else. L was perhaps the only person worthy of respect. Light realized he missed L whenever he was gone for a little while. Ordinary people were so tiresome, but L always had something intelligent to say.

L was a puzzle, and Light wanted to explore him, to delve deep within his psyche. The awkward flirting quickly evolved into kissing. Light couldn't get enough. L was intoxicating. Soon, they were sneaking away at every available opportunity to make out in closets or kitchens or anywhere they were unlikely to be found.

By the time the investigation finally disbanded, nearly a year after Higuchi's death, Light was having sex with L. He'd never been happier. The world had always been so rotten and boring before L came along, full of people who barely deserved to live, but L was different, he made everything seem worth it. He couldn't be easily tricked or manipulated, and that made him immensely exciting.

Light was a little apprehensive, but not surprised, when L suggested admitting their secret relationship. L wanted to stay in Japan, meet Light's mother and sister, and perhaps even be a fake university student just from sheer curiosity. L was ready to take on other cases, now that the Kira case had ended, and Light wanted to help him.

The task force reacted to the announcement with surprise and some dismay. It wasn't bad, certainly nothing like Light had feared. Matsuda was full of congratulations and was almost ridiculously happy about it. Everyone else was at best neutral.

It had been a long time since L had mentioned Light's Kira percentages or openly treated him like a suspect, so besides Mogi's homophobia and Soichiro's upset about his teenage son being sexually active, there weren't really any strong objections.

Besides, the task force was in the process of dissolving and simply wrapping up the last of the paperwork for Interpol and the NPA, so it wasn't as if Mogi's opinion would mean anything.

And so, Light found himself ready to knock on the front door of his home, L trailing behind him. L would be "Hideki Ryuga" to the family. Light had wanted to put L in some better clothing for such an important meeting, but L had resisted. He was in his usual long-sleeved t-shirt, plus baggy jeans and those worn-out untied tennis shoes he always had when outdoors.

It helped that at least L was clean. He bathed regularly and wouldn't endure even a single stain on his clothing; he just looked messy since he didn't preen at all.

Light's heart was beating fast and a lump was in his throat as he knocked.

* * *

 **A/N (Author's Note):**

Congrats to Persefone88 for winning my 100th review contest (probably the last winner, since I've closed the contest due to various reasons, see my fanfiction dot net profile page for a link to my livejournal entry that gives details on the closing).

In this fic, L has recently turned 26; Light is now 19 (though he'll be 20 in a few months) and Sayu is 16.

I've had a difficult time with this fic, I think probably because I've already written something about Light bringing home L to meet his mother and sister (in "The Sugar Cube Fort" chapters 19 through 22) and I wanted to do something completely different, not retrace my steps or reuse the same ideas, so it took me much longer than usual to think of how it would happen.

This chapter is just a kind of back-story about how they got together, and then next chapter the actual meetings will occur. I have difficulty just putting L and Light in a relationship unless there's some kind of story about how they got into it, thus this back-story.

And, in case it wasn't clear, what happened was that Light did write down Higuchi's name in the helicopter, but since it was spelled wrong (Japanese names can usually be written several different ways, with different kanji) Higuchi didn't die then. Thus, Light was forced to swallow the paper to destroy the evidence, and immediately after that the death note was taken away and Light forgot about everything, never to remember again. Shortly after Higuchi's capture, Rem killed Higuchi so he wouldn't snitch on Misa as the second Kira. Since this was a way of extending Misa's lifespan, that action killed Rem.


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2**

Light was expecting his mother, but Sayu was the one who opened the door.

Sayu's gaze rested on L for a few moments, and then she looked beyond him as if searching for someone else, her face showing mild consternation.

Sayu said, "Mom said you were bringing your girlfriend..."

She stared at the level of L's chest, as if searching for breasts or any other hint that L was actually an unattractive female.

L said, "I am today's guest. I am Light's boyfriend."

Sayu went into a weird combination of giggling and high-pitched girlish shrieks. When she got her breath back she said, "Light, I knew it! I knew you were gay!"

Light wasn't sure what to say to that, but he could feel a slight blush on his face.

Sayu said, "I'm so glad you found someone. I was getting worried that you were never going to go on more than three dates with anyone, or that you'd end up with Misa. I mean, Misa is incredibly cute but she got annoying pretty fast, and I didn't even get to talk to her that much."

L said, "Light has more sense than that."

She grabbed Light's hand and yanked him over the threshold. L followed closely, slipping out of his worn-out tennis shoes and placing them beside the other shoes lined up there, but not putting on indoor slippers, instead going barefoot as was usual for him.

Light did put on the indoor slippers after he'd removed his own shoes.

L was looking around, a curious, detached expression on his face, peering down the entrance hallway into the living room, as if he'd never seen it before.

Sayu said, "You, Light's boyfriend, what's your name?"

"Hideki Ryuga."

Sayu burst out laughing again and said, "No, really, what's your real name?"

 _Sayu is so rude. Can't she behave on an important occasion like this?_

Light stepped in front of L and said, "That's his real name. Surely you remember some of my friends mentioning that a Hideki Ryuga also got a perfect score at the To-Oh entrance exams?"

"Oh!" Sayu said, "Oh, this is that guy; I almost forgot about him. He must be really smart. That's why you like him, right? Was it love at first sight when you gave the commencement speech together?"

L said, "It was something like that. We noticed each other immediately, and neither of us could stop thinking about the other one. We were obsessed. Isn't that right, Light?"

"Yes, that's exactly what happened between Ryuga and myself."

Sayu said, "But, then this relationship must have been going on for about a year and a half, and you wouldn't be bringing him home to meet Mom and Dad unless it was really serious, so why aren't you calling him Hideki? You two should be on a first-name basis by now, shouldn't you?"

"Actually," Light said, "I hardly ever call him by his real name, so I'm simply not used to it. He prefers the nickname 'Ryuzaki' since his real name is a bit of trouble, as you can see."

Sachiko appeared in the hallway and said, "Yes, I've already met Ryuzaki. He visited your father in the hospital when you weren't there, Sayu."

Light suddenly felt a bit nervous, now that he was under his mother's scrutiny. He could see Sachiko looking at L's bare feet, with her lips pursed in that slightly disapproving way she had. Light's mother rarely showed open disapproval of anything, but she had her little ways of making her will known.

 _If only L wasn't so sloppy-looking. I could have tried harder to get him to wear a suit, but I still doubt it would have worked. Maybe if I drugged him and wrestled him into one..._

 _Though, I'd certainly rather have him dressed like this and be interesting than being the opposite. All those well-dressed pretty boys who are always hitting on me, they're all empty-headed and boring, especially compared to L. L is so wild and strange._

As L moved forward to greet Light's mother with a surprisingly formal series of bows and graceful phrases, Light couldn't help but think of how alluring L was. His oddities drew Light's attention, making him think, and even L's stubborn habits were infuriating in an intriguing kind of way, challenging Light.

L was a puzzle, a source of surprises, and something for Light to test himself against. L was the turning point in Light's life, when the crushing boredom had disappeared and had been replaced by adventure.

Light remembered the immense relief he'd felt when L had first appeared, though he hadn't immediately recognized it as relief but rather as a number of confusing emotions including an intense feeling of rivalry. That was when Light had experienced a renewed will to participate in life fully.

Light could now realize why excelling on his own had been so empty and pointless. He had needed a peer, someone on his own level, someone who understood.

Even with all his strangeness, L was undoubtedly that someone. Beneath his appearance and habits, L was a kind of twin in spirit to Light, a man who was so much the same that at times it was almost frightening.

As L finished the routine with only a few minor mistakes, Sachiko put a hand to her mouth, blushed slightly, and said, "You are such a sweet young man, but you should know we're not very traditional here."

Light could tell she was pleased.

Light said, "Still, Mom, you shouldn't have told Sayu that Ryuzaki was my girlfriend."

Sachiko said, "I didn't. Sayu made that assumption on her own."

"I should have realized," Sayu said, "I'm so stupid. Of all people, I should have known."

L tried wandering into the kitchen, but Sachiko shooed him out and told them all to watch TV or something. Light's dad wasn't home yet, and she was still cooking for the big meal.

L didn't want to sit still. Even a TV show about cakes couldn't hold his attention. Instead, he wanted to explore the entire house, poking into nearly everything. Light couldn't hold him back. As L tended to do, he'd switched from polite to rude, probably without even realizing it. On social matters, L was still almost completely clueless, but Light was having some fun trying to teach him.

Yet this exploring was a little ridiculous. L was acting like a toddler, as if everything he saw was new to him, and he was even doing odd things such as looking behind furniture. Light couldn't really dissuade him, and Sayu followed them around in a kind of mute astonishment, only speaking when L asked about the attic.

Sayu said, "The attic? It's hard to get the trap door open, since it's painted over, and there's nothing up there except a few old futons and boxes of baby clothes."

L replied, "I'm very curious about it. I've never seen inside an attic in a Japanese house before."

Light knew that L was lying. Cameras had been installed even there, when Light had still been under suspicion.

Light said, "That's enough, Ryuzaki. My father should be home any minute now, and we should be ready to greet him."

Grumbling a bit under his breath, L let himself be herded downstairs to watch a bit more television, and then when Soichiro arrived, L went through another ultra-polite session of bowing and saying just the right things.

Delicious smells were already permeating the house. Sachiko was cooking a feast. As soon as L finished with Soichiro, he wandered into the kitchen again and this time Sachiko didn't shoo him away. Instead, Light's mother had them all sit down and began serving all of them one delicious thing after another. L ate some items, stacked others in front of him while Sayu eyed him oddly, and placed things he didn't want on Light's plate.

All the while, talk started up. It was at first semi-awkward small talk that quickly evolved into a discussion of the history that L had invented for "Hideki Ryuga" the college dropout who was intending to return to school soon. L wasn't much help in that discussion. He didn't say much except exclaiming about how wonderful the food was, and he ate enormous amounts, usually having his mouth full when questions were asked of him so that he crouched there chewing for some time while the others waited.

Light ended up answering more questions about "Hideki Ryuga" than L himself did. Fortunately, he'd been drilled on the entire fake history and didn't need to make up anything on the spot.

The topic didn't change until Sayu decided to change it with an unexpected statement.

With a mischievous sparkle in her eyes, Sayu leaned forward and said, "I was soooo jealous of Light for having such a cute girlfriend, that is, until I realized what a bitch Misa was. When I get a girlfriend, I want one as pretty as Misa but much nicer in personality."

 _Sayu is gay?_

Soichiro choked.

Sachiko thumped him on the back until he stopped choking, then turned to stare at Sayu.

Soichiro's face was still red and he opened his mouth several times as if to say something, but no words came out.

L said, "Sayu, I wish you the best luck in finding exactly the sort of girlfriend you desire."

Sachiko said, "Sayu, are you... are you..."

"Well," Sayu said, "I could be gay, or I could just be testing everyone to see how you react. After all, I've got to protect Light from any prejudices that might be in this family, so I'd better uncover those prejudices if they exist, hadn't I?"

Light exchanged a glance with L, and he could tell that L's opinion of Sayu's intelligence had also risen.

 _Is Sayu testing for my sake, as she said, or for her own sake? It's a completely consequence-free way to test our parents' feelings. It really seems like something I would do._

Sayu's face was difficult to read, but she did look amused.

In a strained voice, Soichiro said, "There would be no grandchildren? None at all?"

Sayu said, "Well, it is hard for gay couples to adopt, and I can't really think Light would want to be a father anyway, but don't give up on me. Lesbians have more options, like artificial insemination."

Sayu waved one hand in the direction of L and said, "If you're worried and you don't want some complete stranger to do it, I could even ask Ryuzaki to donate."

Both Soichiro and Sachiko began sputtering. L put a thumb to the edge of his mouth, quickly hiding an upturned subtle smirk.

Light resolved not to say anything. This was Sayu's doing, and she'd have to talk herself out of it.

"Oh, Mom and Dad, it's so easy to make you worried," Sayu said, "but you know it's at least ten years until I'd do anything like that. I need to finish high school, and then finish college, and find the perfect woman, and we wouldn't want kids right away. It interferes with having lots of sex."

Soichiro sputtered again, and then seemed to become very interested in eating his food. Sachiko looked curiously at Sayu, her head tilted slightly to the side.

It took some time for the small talk to start up again, and when it did L was quieter than ever. He seemed tired.

At one point Light turned to L, and saw him with his chin resting on his knees, his eyes closed. Something looked very odd about the situation. In a moment, Light had picked it out. L's hands, tucked along the sides of his face, were utterly limp.

Light reached out and gave L's shoulder a tentative tap. L's lips moved soundlessly, but he made no other response. Light tapped again, harder, and this time L's head suddenly shot up as his eyes blinked wildly.

Light said, "Ryuzaki, you were asleep."

"Yes," L muttered, "I'm sorry."

In a voice that was much too loud, Sayu said, "He was asleep?"

L made a mumbling sound and rested his head on one knee.

 _Is he really that tired? Or is this a ploy?_

Light said, "Ryuzaki, you look exhausted. Let's go to sleep."

Light's father momentarily got a disapproving look on his face, but Light knew it was the same thing as always. Soichiro did not want to think about either of his children having sex. It didn't actually matter.

L nodded, climbed out of the chair, and followed Light upstairs. The moment that they were both in Light's room, L turned the lock behind them and pinned Light against a wall.

Suddenly, L was sucking on the lobe of Light's ear, while L's long fingers were penetrating the collar of Light's shirt, tracing along his neck and dipping deeper to stroke his upper back, as skilled in their pressing and prodding as any masseuse. L was meticulous and intelligent about nearly everything he did.

L withdrew his lips and whispered, "Will we-"

Light answered, "I would, if you weren't such a screamer! The last thing I need is to draw everybody here because they think you've fallen out of bed and cracked your head open. With my luck, they'd call an ambulance before they even checked the room."

L said, "It is fortunate that my headquarters has soundproof doors everywhere."

L chuckled darkly into the side of Light's neck and added, "Of course I thought that's what you'd say, but I had to check. It is rather taxing to be celibate for this long when you're within easy reach, tempting me."

Light could feel himself heating at the thought of how constantly eager L was. It was as if L had replicated his sugar mania when it came to sex, unable to get enough. L was utterly insatiable, and so, so scrumptious.

But they'd certainly get caught, and that was unacceptable. The very thought of it cooled Light's passions.

"It's your own fault for being so loud," Light teased, "besides, you can go a day and a half without getting laid. You've done it before."

"Unfortunately, you do have logic on your side. What a pity."

L didn't protest any more. He simply went along with all the preparations for sleeping. When they were in bed, L snuggled close to Light's back. He was bony and soft all at once, feeling almost delicate, almost fragile, if Light didn't know what a determined, forceful person L could be.

L was rather like a cat. He could be cuddly, but he always had his own thoughts and schemes going.

Light wondered at the easygoing relationship they had. After the accusations had died down, it had all become so easy. Light had expected plots and tricks to be launched against him, or some sort of simmering background resentment, but there hadn't been anything of the sort, as far as he could tell.

There had been a little bit of surveillance from time to time, showing up unexpectedly and disappearing with no pattern to it, and of course L wouldn't mention his real name. Whatever it was, it was still safe.

Light felt better not knowing it, because then he could never betray L, not even in response to the worst sort of threats or blackmail.

Light heard the change in L's breathing patterns. He was most likely asleep.

It was odd for him to fall asleep so easily and quickly. During the meal he had as well. Was something up? Light had seen L asleep in chairs only a few times before, and usually it wasn't an accident, it was because L sometimes wanted to get his sleep as a series of little chair-naps while he continued to work. Those times generally happened so late at night that it wasn't normal for Light to see it, though.

Light stared at the wall for a long time, feeling the comfortable weight of L at his back and listening to the man's peaceful breathing. Eventually, Light slept as well, only waking up a few times in the middle of the night, surprised to see L still and quiet each time.

He woke up the next morning to coughing, with sunlight streaming through the curtains that hid his balcony. Light turned over into a wet pillow, seeing L's bleary eyes inches from his own, L's nose running in a long string of mucus onto the pillow.

Light pulled back at once and L coughed again, closing his eyes.

Light said, "You're sick."

In a raspy voice, L replied, "You're very intelligent, Light. Brilliant deduction, absolutely brilliant."

"We need to get you to a doctor. Should we take you anywhere we please, or do you need to call Watari and go to a special doctor?"

L sat up, got a horrible expression on his face, and then flopped back down, panting.

L said, "I'm too tired to walk. I can't even sit."

He closed his eyes again. Snot-bubbles rose from one nostril. L looked terrible.

Light rummaged around in L's clothing that had been folded and left on his desk the previous night, finding L's cellphone and pressing it into L's hand.

"You're going to call Watari."

L pressed a few buttons, and then said into the phone, "I'm sick. Yagami place. Get a doctor."

Light could just barely hear a voice say something in response, though he couldn't understand the words. A moment later L dropped the cellphone.

Light fetched a warm, wet washcloth and a clean, dry pillow. He cleaned off L's face and got him settled on the new pillow while L looked up, watching dully. L's entire body looked boneless.

Light was a little scared. He'd seen L sick before, but not quite this sick.

"I must tell you the truth," L said, and then raised a thumb to his mouth and nibbled on his thumbnail.

Light felt a sinking sensation in his stomach.

Light said, "Is it that I'm still a suspect? You were searching my house, after all."

"I'm sorry," L said, "that is a habit of mine. I could not seem to resist investigating. You will always be my suspect very slightly, but you already know that. I'm sure you have noticed the intermittent surveillance and my refusal to tell you my name. No, this is something else."

After a pause, L added, "I am nervous. I do not do well in these sorts of situations. I am sure this illness was brought on by the stress of presenting myself to your family."

L sniffled and then went into a coughing fit. Mucus came out of his nose in globs. When he finished, Light wiped L's face again, with the clean side of the washcloth.

L said, "I am fine with your father when I am his boss, but I know I was terrible last night. I did not know what to say to your family yesterday, and soon I am planning to return to college with you. Perhaps this plan is a mistake. I do not please other people. Going to college was intriguing, and I am still curious, but-"

"Social interactions are your weak point."

L said, "I know this."

Light said, "I'll tell you the key to social interactions. People are complete hypocrites. As long as you understand this, it is only a matter of learning what they expect and then meeting those expectations."

L coughed weakly and said, "I am not sure what you mean."

"Everyone has a secret self that they hide away from the public. That secret self is just as odd as you are, if not more so. How would people act if there were nobody around to observe them? How would they behave if everyone else in the world stopped existing and they were alone? Anyone in that situation would become a complete weirdo very fast. Almost everything that people do and say is a display for other people."

L stared and said, "That is utterly depressing."

"It's just how it is," Light said, "it's the rules of the game, only in this case the game is life. Life is otherwise just like any other game. You learn the rules and you play it."

L slumped down, pressing the side of his cheek into the pillow and said, "It is not like other games. I have always struggled with it. It is more than simply a matter of understanding others. I am one of the top profilers in the world, so I think that means I must understand people very well. This understanding does not help me when I am interacting with them in a social context, only when I am trying to match a criminal's personality to a suspect's personality, or when I am working out hidden motivations."

"It doesn't matter," Light said, "because we're a team. I'll be there, and we'll be playing the game together. I'm good enough that your problems won't drag me down. People will like you, simply because I'll trick them into thinking they like you. I know I can do this. Besides, you can't play on my team without picking up some of my talents. Don't you want to try returning to college, so that you'll have additional social skills if you ever need to work undercover again? It wouldn't be like the great detective L to just give up on something."

L stared and then said, "You are quite impressive, Light. Your abilities still astound me."

Light felt a warm glow inside at the praise.

Light climbed into bed and said, "Turn onto your stomach. I'm going to give you a backrub. You look like you really need it."

Sure enough, L's muscles were tense and knotted under Light's hands, quite bad even by L's standards. L shivered and whined as Light worked, though he clearly liked it and the muscles gradually became somewhat looser. L obviously took comfort in Light's touches, and Light felt his words had calmed L as well.

Light was sure L would attend college, and that it would be fun. Social anxiety was not going to interfere. Light would have plans in place to help L learn the most about socializing without getting worn down by it.

By the time L's doctor arrived, L had a more peaceful expression on his face, even though he was sniffling and coughing just as much as when he'd first woken up. But it didn't worry Light.

Light knew everything was going to be okay.

* * *

 **A/N (Author's Note):**

I left Sayu's sexual orientation unconfirmed in this, mainly because I think it's funnier if it isn't clear whether she's toying with her parents or not. It's up to the reader to decide whether Sayu is gay. Though I admit, I do think the idea is very cute and fluffy of ten-years-later Sayu and her lesbian partner deciding to have a baby by artificial insemination, with L as the donor.

Unfortunately, this has been the most difficult fic to finish that I've ever uploaded. Sorry about taking such an incredibly long time for just two chapters. The writer's block on this was just horrible, and also I got burned out by trying to finish two novel-length fics while I still had short fics and novella-length fics ongoing, but even with those problems I still would have finished this fic much sooner, except that I kept going blank every time I tried to work on it.

I think I also made an error in judgment when I thought I could easily do request fics just because I felt that I was good at doing prompt fics (prompt fics are fics inspired by prompts on the death note kink meme, the death note fan fiction contest's weekly subject, or other prompts).

After working on three request fics ("A Miserable Existence", "A Paradise for Kids" and this one) I've come to the conclusion that I simply don't write request fics as well as prompt fics. It's harder for me, and I think the quality is more variable. I think the difference is that, with prompts, there is a huge list of possibilities and some of those prompts inevitably catch my eye and give me greater inspiration, while writing a request fic is more limited; it's rather like grabbing a random prompt and only being able to write for that prompt.

But, even though this fic was hard to write, I still enjoyed doing it. It got a persistent plot-bunny out of my brain and into a fic. It challenged me to tackle a subject I'd covered previously, and that challenge was rewarding along with being frustrating. I had the opportunity to stretch my writing abilities with this fic and see what I could do in a more limited situation.

I also liked experimenting with the more fluffy style that I'd decided would be best suited to this fic. I think I usually do fairly well with angsty stuff or high suspense or wild crack fics or dark, depressing stuff, but my fluff is often lacking in quality, and I liked this chance to work on my fluff skills. It was difficult, but rewarding.

I hope I produced a good fic, and I hope it was satisfactory even though it was so incredibly slow in getting done. If it wasn't good, I can only say that I tried and I had fun, and that variations in quality is something that happens to all writers.


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